Prior to Monday (March 7, 2011), I spent 10 days away from work welcoming our daughter into the world. This had given me an opportunity to enjoy a front row seat to the spectacle otherwise known as Charlie Sheen. More interestingly, I have enjoyed watching how people have reacted to his recent interviews, his Blitzkrieg of Twitter and his general Sheen-ness (yes, I am trademarking that and other Sheen-plus-suffix adjectives, so back off!). The reactions have prompted this post.
I think we all need to acknowledge/remind ourselves of one thing: Charlie Sheen is an actor. An entertainer. A celebrity, if you will. I do understand that we live in a celebrity-obsessed world these days. The nightly "news" has become little more than a front and a shill for other entertainment and media outlets owned by the the mega-corporations that also own the respective broadcast networks. However, I would have liked to think, foolishly, that at least a small sector of society would be smart enough to acknowledge this. Based on the reactions I have seen, primarily on Twitter, my foolishness has been confirmed.
Editor's Note: Charlie Sheen has someone write his tweets for him? SHOCKING. Do the sycophant employment opportunities in Hollywood know no bounds?!?!?! Again, if this fact surprises or upsets you, you may be reading the wrong post right now....
I will accept criticism that Charlie Sheen may make light of addiction and mental disorders, though I would posit that, again, it is the people commenting on or reacting to his interviews, tweets and such that are the real culprits. Be that as it may, I have no issue with those that complain that his antics paint addiction and mental illness with an injust brush. Now, having ceded that point...
Here is what I find the "problem" to be. I get the sense that Charlie Sheen actually believes the stuff he is saying (or dictating--whatever). Well, at least 70% of it literally and the remaining 30% of it metaphorically. And most people have an issue because WE HAVE BEEN SYSTEMATICALLY IMMUNIZED FROM PEOPLE TELLING US THE FUCKING TRUTH. Politicians lie (even the savior President Barry-O). Bankers lie. Wall Street lies. Bosses lie. Employees lie. News networks lie. Corporations lie. The lack of full disclosure and transparency has become so fucking pervasive in our "modern" society that when we are faced with anyone who is speaking honestly and earnestly our first reaction is to attack that person like white blood cells attacking any other contagion.
We (Americans) are entangled in a war that is costing upwards of $450 million PER DAY. All the while, we are being asked--nay, told--that we need to cut back on "non-essential" programs. Like public broadcasting. And Social Security. And health care services for the elderly and indigent. Meanwhile, corporations are filling their coffers with bailouts and public assistance while paying little or no income tax. Of course, most of these corporate interests are the ones pulling the strings attached to our elected officials, by the by. Yes, this includes the founders of that dumb-assed Tea Party as well, in case you were wondering where I stood on those nut jobs. But all we can do is bitch about Charlie Sheen acting crazy? Can I get a "Really? with Seth and Amy", please?
What has Charlie Sheen done? He has used his own money to buy coke and whores. Wow. What a crime committed on the American public. And before you get all indignant about him not "paying" for his crimes, allow me to remind you the number of Wall Street executives who have gone to jail over the widley-acknowledged fraud and collusion that caused the financial meltdown on 2007-2008: ZERO. THAT'S Z-E-FUCKING-R-O. So if you want to say he's a bad father or that you feel bad for Denise Richards or what's-her-name or for his kids, fair enough. There are civil judicial mechanisms in place to address his putative failures as a parent. But do not waste any breath or tears trying to convince me that Charlie Sheen belongs in jail. It's not like he took taxpayer money that was supposed to be pumped back into the commercial and consumer lending system and instead sat on it to bolster his books.
Everyone needs to read Christopher Hedges' masterpiece, "Empire of Illusion." For those of you who still read more than 140 characters at a time, that is. This book has pissed me off about our farce of a society more than anything else I have read in the past five years. Truly brilliant. From modern politics (i.e., note how we analyze the "political effectiveness" of a message rather than the actual fucking content thereof) to degree mills like the University of Phoenix (how much intellectually-stimulating, salon-like debate can take place in front of a screen?) to the sex industry (GMAC and AT&T are some of the largest profiteers of hotel porn--never knew that before), he mercilessly minces the brain-dead, autonomic, consumer-based illusion we have allowed ourselves to embrace as "reality."
I said last week that if we put toward our elected officials 1% of the outrage directed at Charlie Sheen we could actually see real change. But we have become programmed to do exactly what I have seen over the past 10 days or so. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Question nothing. Accept. Consume. Obey.
Editor's Note: As campy as it was, how fucking spot-on was "They Live"? Just substitute the oligarchical corporate aristocracy for the aliens, and there you are.
Similarly, I said last week that if you did not realize that Charlie Sheen is EXACTLY what society deserves, then the joke truly is on you. You want to live in this society more concerned with celebrities doing blow off of hookers' asses, that is EXACTLY what you get.
Remember the scene in "Private Parts" where Pig Vomit (the only truly redeeming performance in the film) is trying to find out Howard Stern's appeal?
Researcher: The average radio listener listens for eighteen minutes. The average Howard Stern fan listens for - are you ready for this? - an hour and twenty minutes.
Pig Vomit: How can that be?
Researcher: Answer most commonly given? "I want to see what he'll say next."
Pig Vomit: Okay, fine. But what about the people who hate Stern?
Researcher: Good point. The average Stern hater listens for two and a half hours a day.
Pig Vomit: But... if they hate him, why do they listen?
Researcher: Most common answer? "I want to see what he'll say next."
(Via IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119951/quotes)
Is that not Charlie Sheen in a nutshell?
Or, to quote the fantastic @justsendtulips from earlier this evening:
"Charlie Sheen is Twitter in real life. I applaud his coke snorting, booze ingesting, hooker fucking, awesome behavior. Legend"
and
"I don't know why Charlie Sheen gets so much flak. He's living the dream that all of you fuckers wish you could have."
Here's a hint. If you want him to go away, ignore him. Fully and completely. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. I, for one, am content to sit back and watch the shitstorm created by his wake, the truly entertaining part of the show. Pass the fucking popcorn.